So many weird things happen to me in each day's time that I could never quite keep up with them all here. But, I certainly will try!
After a crazy day of cleaning up after an elusive office mouse and actually working, I took a late lunch. As I sat down in the darkened conference room, I gazed outside thru the sole window in the room. As I became mesmerized by the waving pond grasses and fields of soybeans, I noticed a strange bug hanging onto the window screen. As I looked closer, I noticed it was not one, but two 'skeeter-eaters' matin'! I sat there pondering the fortitude it must have taken them to hang on from one end to the other end just during copulation, much less a windy day. And then I noticed an interloper, a voyeur of sorts. I just couldn't determine if it was a progeny, a potential mate or just an adolescent male taking notes.
"Skeeter-eaters" or Crane Flies, go by many crazy names like mosquito hawk, mosquito eater (or skeeter eater), gallinipper, and gollywhopper, depending on where you live.
After getting a closer look on my side of the window and joining the "show", I realized the magnitude of their act, holding tight in linear formation, each shuddering in sync with the other as the wind lifted their wings as they silently procreated. Ok, it was silent to me. I'm sure they were huffin' and puffin' and whispering sweet nothin's into each other's antenae. Then it finally dawned on me who that voyeur (besides myself) was, waiting for HER turn....his other mate! I hoped for his sake he had enough stamina left for her!
6.02.2010
Crazy Lady in the Road
This week has been a hot mess. Ok, so today is only Wednesday after a Monday holiday, but still! Yesterday was a nut cluster and today wasn't much better.
After cleaning up mice droppings in a co-workers desk (day two of cleaning little pebble trails) and leaving work ten minutes later than planned, I sped down the street to pick up my son, when I remembered that I had forgotten to pay his summer camp fee for the week and still had to pick up my daughter for her 5:30 pm physical therapy appointment. I went inside, waited fifteen minutes and paid the fee only to have them realize they had charged me twice. No biggie, they were trying to serve me and they were twenty minutes late leaving from their own workday. After all that, I went to sign my son out of camp and proceeded to the car. I had just mentioned to him that I we had to hurry because my daughter's appointment was right then.
Right on cue, the ice cream truck drives by. You know my son was hankering for that ice cream! But I couldn't make us any later so I had to say no. Meanie Mommy! I started up the car and drove thru the park and into the adjacent neighborhood only to see another ice cream truck drive by. I guess summer has officially arrived.
As I drove home to pick my daughter up, she phoned to remind me that she had church tonight. I knew the master schedule in my mind and was trying to keep an even keel so that I wasn't fussing about where we had to be at what time. I politely told her she had physical therapy for which she was gong to be late as it was. She reminded me again that she had planned to "teach" the junior high kids tonight. I reminded her that I had to drop her off, get my headlight fixed, get gas, pick her up & take her to the church, pick up groceries, feed her brother & pick her up again before I was ever going to make it home tonight. On cue, the cell rang. It was the PT office asking where we were. When I told them we were one minute away, they asked to reschedule. Ok, I just figured I would roll with the punches. I had enough to do and could certainly fill that time slot. I'd just mentally shift the "calendar" around a bit. When we scheduled the appointment for the next morning at 8:30 am, I was mentally trying to figure out how I was going to get her there when I had to be at work by 8 am. You know that this is every mom's frustration, trying to be in five places at once. Mucho suckage!
All of a sudden, my sixteen year old daughter threw a fit because the new appointment time was going to cut into her Six Flags trip with her youth group. And...as any mental patient would do, I lost it all. I pulled into a farmer's drive and gave her the rundown of the schedule with both barrels fully loaded. Never one of my finest moments.
As I wound down the lecture, I drove toward the gas station and pulled up to the pump. My son jumped out to pump the gas just so I would stop talking. That is one smart boy!
Here is the most interesting part of the whole story: After I finished gassing up and we pulled out of the side street and onto the four-lane divided highway, a momma duck and her infant ducklings were crossing the road! I blocked traffic for the two lanes on my side to let her get her babies to the median. As I reached the next turn-around, I turned back towards her and stopped in the turn lane closest to her. My daughter immediately got out to shoo the ducks toward their destination as I attempted to block the on-coming traffic. Those dang ducks decided they didn't want to cross, they wanted to waddle all over the other side! So, my daughter and I followed the momma duck. As my child shooed them towards the side of the road, all of them hissed and tried to attack her. Talk about trying to bite the hand that saves you! Meanwhile, I was stopping traffic and trying to direct people towards the other lane. Thank God I did not get hit, because no one paid me any attention. They must have thought I was drunk!
After all of this hullaballoo, my daughter finally got them to find their way to the right side of the road from whence they came. Of the two cars that actually slowed, one dude said he thought I was corraling a peacock until he got a good look at the babies. What was he smoking? We don't have random peacocks on the street here! If it had been a peacock, I would have let him handle his business with his big pokey butt feathers.
The other lady just said, "Thanks for what you did, that was cool." I choked back tears. I didn't expect that.
Who knew that a momma duck and her babies were going to teach me a lesson in humility, love and sticking your neck out for others without a thought for yourself in the midst of "busyiness"? Them are ducks!
After cleaning up mice droppings in a co-workers desk (day two of cleaning little pebble trails) and leaving work ten minutes later than planned, I sped down the street to pick up my son, when I remembered that I had forgotten to pay his summer camp fee for the week and still had to pick up my daughter for her 5:30 pm physical therapy appointment. I went inside, waited fifteen minutes and paid the fee only to have them realize they had charged me twice. No biggie, they were trying to serve me and they were twenty minutes late leaving from their own workday. After all that, I went to sign my son out of camp and proceeded to the car. I had just mentioned to him that I we had to hurry because my daughter's appointment was right then.
Right on cue, the ice cream truck drives by. You know my son was hankering for that ice cream! But I couldn't make us any later so I had to say no. Meanie Mommy! I started up the car and drove thru the park and into the adjacent neighborhood only to see another ice cream truck drive by. I guess summer has officially arrived.
As I drove home to pick my daughter up, she phoned to remind me that she had church tonight. I knew the master schedule in my mind and was trying to keep an even keel so that I wasn't fussing about where we had to be at what time. I politely told her she had physical therapy for which she was gong to be late as it was. She reminded me again that she had planned to "teach" the junior high kids tonight. I reminded her that I had to drop her off, get my headlight fixed, get gas, pick her up & take her to the church, pick up groceries, feed her brother & pick her up again before I was ever going to make it home tonight. On cue, the cell rang. It was the PT office asking where we were. When I told them we were one minute away, they asked to reschedule. Ok, I just figured I would roll with the punches. I had enough to do and could certainly fill that time slot. I'd just mentally shift the "calendar" around a bit. When we scheduled the appointment for the next morning at 8:30 am, I was mentally trying to figure out how I was going to get her there when I had to be at work by 8 am. You know that this is every mom's frustration, trying to be in five places at once. Mucho suckage!
All of a sudden, my sixteen year old daughter threw a fit because the new appointment time was going to cut into her Six Flags trip with her youth group. And...as any mental patient would do, I lost it all. I pulled into a farmer's drive and gave her the rundown of the schedule with both barrels fully loaded. Never one of my finest moments.
As I wound down the lecture, I drove toward the gas station and pulled up to the pump. My son jumped out to pump the gas just so I would stop talking. That is one smart boy!
Here is the most interesting part of the whole story: After I finished gassing up and we pulled out of the side street and onto the four-lane divided highway, a momma duck and her infant ducklings were crossing the road! I blocked traffic for the two lanes on my side to let her get her babies to the median. As I reached the next turn-around, I turned back towards her and stopped in the turn lane closest to her. My daughter immediately got out to shoo the ducks toward their destination as I attempted to block the on-coming traffic. Those dang ducks decided they didn't want to cross, they wanted to waddle all over the other side! So, my daughter and I followed the momma duck. As my child shooed them towards the side of the road, all of them hissed and tried to attack her. Talk about trying to bite the hand that saves you! Meanwhile, I was stopping traffic and trying to direct people towards the other lane. Thank God I did not get hit, because no one paid me any attention. They must have thought I was drunk!
After all of this hullaballoo, my daughter finally got them to find their way to the right side of the road from whence they came. Of the two cars that actually slowed, one dude said he thought I was corraling a peacock until he got a good look at the babies. What was he smoking? We don't have random peacocks on the street here! If it had been a peacock, I would have let him handle his business with his big pokey butt feathers.
The other lady just said, "Thanks for what you did, that was cool." I choked back tears. I didn't expect that.
Who knew that a momma duck and her babies were going to teach me a lesson in humility, love and sticking your neck out for others without a thought for yourself in the midst of "busyiness"? Them are ducks!
5.25.2010
Ice Cream Man!
I was having a crummy day today. I had encountered a person, who chooses to make my life difficult on a regular basis. I was not in the best mood. I called my daughter to check on her cleaning progress at home. Being the first day of summer vacation without a job, I had given her a list of cleaning chores to accomplish before I got home around 5 pm. While I was chatting with her, I pulled up to a light...right behind the ICE CREAM MAN! I got so excited that I kinda forgot I was supposed to be driving back to my office. When the light turned green, the Ice Cream Man turned left. Luckily, that was the same way I was going. At the first right turn, the Ice Cream Man turned right. You guessed it...I did, too! He immediately turned left into a strip mall where I followed him into the parking lot. The whole time I was 'stalking' the Ice Cream Man, I was talking to my daughter about getting an ice cream cone. Of course, she was encouraging (read: goading) me to get my ice cream.
What is it about the Ice Cream Truck that makes it so special and magical? Why do we, as adults, get so worked up, excited and childlike in temperment when we hear that all too-familiar music blared from the loudspeakers? It reminds me of that Eddie Murphy riff in "Raw" where he taunts that other kids with, "Ice cream, I gotta an ice cream and you don't got none!" There is something so elitist about having enough cash on hand to buy a glorious, dripping cold dairy product on a stick. The store-bought tub just won't do!
So, after the Ice Cream Man stopped his wonderous Ice Cream Truck, I jumped out of my car and waved my wallet at him. He was staring out of his side mirror at me as if he couldn't believe a grown woman was chasing him for an cone. I said, "Yes, I was following you for an ice cream." Oddly, as if this were a common, everyday occurence, he just looked at me and said, "Menu's on the other side." I scurried along to the other side of his magic wagon to find my treat. Then it occurred to me that I couldn't go back to the office without enough for everyone. I could hear my mama's voice in the back of my head, "It's rude to eat in front of everyone if you don't have enough to share." And, I could picture my daughter getting out of sorts because I didn't buy her one. And then, my son would've lost it because his sister got one and he didn't. In the end, I bought $18 dollars worth of ice cream. Crazy, I know, but I had to be fair - in my looney mind.
You would think that this crazy tale ends here, but you'd be wrong. The funniest part of all this is that when I turned around to leave, there were three more adults in line behind me!
ICE CREAM MAN IS HERE!
What is it about the Ice Cream Truck that makes it so special and magical? Why do we, as adults, get so worked up, excited and childlike in temperment when we hear that all too-familiar music blared from the loudspeakers? It reminds me of that Eddie Murphy riff in "Raw" where he taunts that other kids with, "Ice cream, I gotta an ice cream and you don't got none!" There is something so elitist about having enough cash on hand to buy a glorious, dripping cold dairy product on a stick. The store-bought tub just won't do!
So, after the Ice Cream Man stopped his wonderous Ice Cream Truck, I jumped out of my car and waved my wallet at him. He was staring out of his side mirror at me as if he couldn't believe a grown woman was chasing him for an cone. I said, "Yes, I was following you for an ice cream." Oddly, as if this were a common, everyday occurence, he just looked at me and said, "Menu's on the other side." I scurried along to the other side of his magic wagon to find my treat. Then it occurred to me that I couldn't go back to the office without enough for everyone. I could hear my mama's voice in the back of my head, "It's rude to eat in front of everyone if you don't have enough to share." And, I could picture my daughter getting out of sorts because I didn't buy her one. And then, my son would've lost it because his sister got one and he didn't. In the end, I bought $18 dollars worth of ice cream. Crazy, I know, but I had to be fair - in my looney mind.
You would think that this crazy tale ends here, but you'd be wrong. The funniest part of all this is that when I turned around to leave, there were three more adults in line behind me!
ICE CREAM MAN IS HERE!
5.23.2010
Sneaky Pete
As I was listening to the Rotary speaker expound on the merits of planned giving yesterday, I received a couple of phone calls from my kids. I was in the Missouri, learning more about the intricacies of Rotary leadership. Meanwhile, the kids were having a showdown.
During the next break, I phoned home. Turns out, my son Chris had taken his sister's bookcase. In the middle of the night! I delayed the craziness of the telephonic melee until I got home because I really couldn't believe that he had done that. Not to mention, I still had a few more hours of symposium to go through.
Background Information: The bookcase is 4.5 feet tall, has no back to it and has spindles for supports on the sides. It had a full set of encyclopedias on it, as well as other books and tchotchkes. Tasha had just put it in her closet to make room for a nightstand a few days before. No, I don't understand the logic of a bookcase in the closet, if there was any behind it. Talk about being a closet reader!
So, when I got home, I pulled Chris aside and asked him to tell me the story of the bookcase. Turns out he had woken up at 2:30 am with the full intent of stealing her bookcase from her closet so that he would have a bookcase to put his books on in his room. He never completely explained the exact tactical manuvers he employed to stealthily remove all of the bookcase's contents, move the piece of furniture through a glorified disaster area, and set it up in his room - all without waking the two most lightest sleepers in the house.
I think I'm gonna lock my bedroom door at night to keep him out of my closet!
CUE THE CIRCUS MUSIC....
During the next break, I phoned home. Turns out, my son Chris had taken his sister's bookcase. In the middle of the night! I delayed the craziness of the telephonic melee until I got home because I really couldn't believe that he had done that. Not to mention, I still had a few more hours of symposium to go through.
Background Information: The bookcase is 4.5 feet tall, has no back to it and has spindles for supports on the sides. It had a full set of encyclopedias on it, as well as other books and tchotchkes. Tasha had just put it in her closet to make room for a nightstand a few days before. No, I don't understand the logic of a bookcase in the closet, if there was any behind it. Talk about being a closet reader!
So, when I got home, I pulled Chris aside and asked him to tell me the story of the bookcase. Turns out he had woken up at 2:30 am with the full intent of stealing her bookcase from her closet so that he would have a bookcase to put his books on in his room. He never completely explained the exact tactical manuvers he employed to stealthily remove all of the bookcase's contents, move the piece of furniture through a glorified disaster area, and set it up in his room - all without waking the two most lightest sleepers in the house.
I think I'm gonna lock my bedroom door at night to keep him out of my closet!
CUE THE CIRCUS MUSIC....
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